Navigating Grief During the Holidays—Why Moving On Isn’t That Simple
The holiday season is supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and tradition. But when you’ve lost someone significant, these familiar routines can bring a sharp reminder of their absence. For those grieving, holidays can feel like a series of emotional landmines, where every song, every gathering, and every empty chair at the table brings a fresh wave of sadness. And yet, there’s often this unspoken expectation from family and friends that, by now, you should be “over it” and able to “move on.” Here’s the reality: grief doesn’t work that way.
Grief and the Holidays—Why It Feels So Hard
Grief is a journey that doesn’t follow a set timeline. It’s not something you simply “get over.” When the holidays roll around, they can magnify the loss, as traditions, routines, and familiar sights all stir up memories of past celebrations shared with loved ones who are no longer here. In a season that’s supposed to be “merry and bright,” grief can make you feel like an outsider—unseen, misunderstood, and aching for the one person who can’t be there.
How to Navigate Grief During the Holidays
If you’re grieving, know that it’s okay to feel whatever you feel, whether that’s sadness, anger, or even a sense of relief at a quiet moment alone. Here are some ways to manage these tough emotions during this season:
- Honor Their Memory: Create a new tradition in memory of your loved one. Light a candle, hang an ornament, or share a favorite story about them at the table. Doing something that acknowledges their place in your heart can make the holidays feel a little more meaningful.
- Set Boundaries: If certain gatherings or events feel too painful, it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to attend every holiday party or dinner. Take on what you can handle, and give yourself permission to skip anything that feels too overwhelming.
- Create Space for Grief: Don’t force yourself to be “jolly” if you’re not feeling it. Give yourself room to feel whatever emotions come up. Whether it’s through journaling, a walk in nature, or simply sitting in silence, give grief the space it needs to breathe.
- Reach Out for Support: Lean on those who understand your loss. Whether it’s a friend, a support group, or a therapist, talking through your emotions can provide comfort. Sometimes, just knowing that you’re not alone in this journey is enough to lighten the load.
How to Support a Loved One Who Is Grieving
If you know someone who’s grieving, remember that the holidays can be an especially tough time for them. Here are a few ways you can offer support:
- Acknowledge Their Loss: Don’t avoid mentioning their loved one’s name. Ask them about their favorite memories or listen if they want to share stories. A simple “I’m thinking of you and [their loved one] this season” can go a long way.
- Be There—Without Expectations: Offer your presence without any pressure. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or any other emotion. Be there to listen, not to push them to “move on.”
- Include Them Gently: If they’re up for it, invite them to join you in holiday activities. But respect their boundaries—don’t take it personally if they decline. Just knowing that they’re welcome can be comforting.
- Offer Practical Help: Sometimes the simplest gestures mean the most. Offer to help with holiday preparations, run errands, or bring over a meal. These small acts of kindness show that you’re there for them in a tangible way.
Remember, Grief Is a Journey—Not a Destination
The truth is, grief doesn’t end when the holidays do. It ebbs and flows, showing up in unexpected ways, long after others may think you should be “over it.” If you’re grieving, know that it’s okay to feel whatever you feel, and take each day as it comes. And if you’re supporting someone who’s grieving, remember that your compassion and understanding can be the greatest gift you give them this season.
The holidays can be hard. But together, we can create space for both joy and sorrow, honoring those we’ve lost while making room for hope, healing, and new traditions in the days to come.
Navigating Grief During the Holidays—Why Moving On Isn’t That Simple
The holiday season is supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and tradition. But when you’ve lost someone significant, these familiar routines can bring a sharp reminder of their absence. For those grieving, holidays can feel like a series of emotional landmines, where every song, every gathering, and every empty chair at the table brings a fresh wave of sadness. And yet, there’s often this unspoken expectation from family and friends that, by now, you should be “over it” and able to “move on.” Here’s the reality: grief doesn’t work that way.
Grief and the Holidays—Why It Feels So Hard
Grief is a journey that doesn’t follow a set timeline. It’s not something you simply “get over.” When the holidays roll around, they can magnify the loss, as traditions, routines, and familiar sights all stir up memories of past celebrations shared with loved ones who are no longer here. In a season that’s supposed to be “merry and bright,” grief can make you feel like an outsider—unseen, misunderstood, and aching for the one person who can’t be there.
How to Navigate Grief During the Holidays
If you’re grieving, know that it’s okay to feel whatever you feel, whether that’s sadness, anger, or even a sense of relief at a quiet moment alone. Here are some ways to manage these tough emotions during this season:
- Honor Their Memory: Create a new tradition in memory of your loved one. Light a candle, hang an ornament, or share a favorite story about them at the table. Doing something that acknowledges their place in your heart can make the holidays feel a little more meaningful.
- Set Boundaries: If certain gatherings or events feel too painful, it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to attend every holiday party or dinner. Take on what you can handle, and give yourself permission to skip anything that feels too overwhelming.
- Create Space for Grief: Don’t force yourself to be “jolly” if you’re not feeling it. Give yourself room to feel whatever emotions come up. Whether it’s through journaling, a walk in nature, or simply sitting in silence, give grief the space it needs to breathe.
- Reach Out for Support: Lean on those who understand your loss. Whether it’s a friend, a support group, or a therapist, talking through your emotions can provide comfort. Sometimes, just knowing that you’re not alone in this journey is enough to lighten the load.
How to Support a Loved One Who Is Grieving
If you know someone who’s grieving, remember that the holidays can be an especially tough time for them. Here are a few ways you can offer support:
- Acknowledge Their Loss: Don’t avoid mentioning their loved one’s name. Ask them about their favorite memories or listen if they want to share stories. A simple “I’m thinking of you and [their loved one] this season” can go a long way.
- Be There—Without Expectations: Offer your presence without any pressure. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or any other emotion. Be there to listen, not to push them to “move on.”
- Include Them Gently: If they’re up for it, invite them to join you in holiday activities. But respect their boundaries—don’t take it personally if they decline. Just knowing that they’re welcome can be comforting.
- Offer Practical Help: Sometimes the simplest gestures mean the most. Offer to help with holiday preparations, run errands, or bring over a meal. These small acts of kindness show that you’re there for them in a tangible way.
Remember, Grief Is a Journey—Not a Destination
The truth is, grief doesn’t end when the holidays do. It ebbs and flows, showing up in unexpected ways, long after others may think you should be “over it.” If you’re grieving, know that it’s okay to feel whatever you feel, and take each day as it comes. And if you’re supporting someone who’s grieving, remember that your compassion and understanding can be the greatest gift you give them this season.
The holidays can be hard. But together, we can create space for both joy and sorrow, honoring those we’ve lost while making room for hope, healing, and new traditions in the days to come.
