Beyond the Headlines: What the Gabby Petito Story Reveals About Domestic Violence

Watching American Murder: The Gabby Petito Story is unsettling—not just because of the tragedy it recounts, but because it mirrors a horrifying reality that far too many people experience behind closed doors. Domestic violence is not just a tragic news story, it is a silent epidemic affecting millions of individuals in every corner of the world.

Gabby’s case gripped the nation, not just because of its shocking end, but because it exposed something deeply uncomfortable: the way abuse can be masked behind social media filters, charming smiles, and “everything’s fine” responses. It forced us to ask difficult questions. How many people are suffering right now in similar situations? How often do we dismiss warning signs? How can we do better as a society?

The Reality of Domestic Violence

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV):

• 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner.
• On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the U.S.
• Emotional and psychological abuse are just as damaging as physical abuse, often laying the groundwork for escalation.

Gabby’s story is not an isolated case. It’s a chilling reminder that behind closed doors, abuse often escalates over time, starting with manipulation, control, gaslighting, and emotional degradation before turning physically violent.

Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence

Abuse doesn’t always begin with physical violence. It often starts subtly: controlling behaviors, put-downs, isolation from family and friends, or blaming the victim for everything that goes wrong.

Some key red flags to watch for include:

• Extreme jealousy or possessiveness – Does your partner demand to know your whereabouts at all times? Do they act suspicious or accusatory without reason?
• Controlling behaviors – Does your partner make all the decisions, limit your independence, or monitor your social media?
• Verbal and emotional abuse – Do they belittle you, insult you, or make you feel worthless?
• Isolation – Have they pushed you away from friends, family, or support systems?
• Gaslighting – Do they deny things they’ve said or done, making you question your own reality?
• >Physical violence or threats – Has there ever been a moment of physical harm, a raised hand, or even subtle threats that made you feel unsafe?

Abuse is not just what happens behind closed doors, it’s also how victims are made to feel small, trapped, and silenced.

Why It’s So Hard to Leave

Many people wonder, Why didn’t she just leave? But leaving an abusive relationship is not that simple. The most dangerous time for a victim is when they try to leave, that’s when violence often escalates. Survivors also face financial dependence, fear of retaliation, lack of support, and deep psychological manipulation that makes them doubt their own strength.

Rather than asking “Why didn’t they leave?”, we should be asking, “Why did their partner feel entitled to abuse them?”

How We Can Help

If you suspect someone you love is in an abusive relationship:

• Believe them – The biggest gift you can give a survivor is to believe them without judgment.
• Offer support, not pressure – Let them know they have a safe space to turn to, but don’t push them to leave before they’re ready.
• Know the resources – Domestic violence hotlines, shelters, and counseling services exist, but victims may not know where to turn. Offer to research or help make a plan if they need it.
• Encourage professional help – Therapy and support groups can help survivors rebuild their sense of self and navigate the trauma of abuse.

If You Are in an Abusive Relationship

You are not alone, and this is not your fault.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788 for confidential help.

Have an exit plan – If you’re considering leaving, make sure you have a safe place to go and a trusted person who can help.

Know that you deserve peace, safety, and love. You do not have to stay in an environment that makes you feel small or unsafe.

Watching American Murder is painful, but it must serve a purpose. It must push us to ask how we can prevent another Gabby, another tragedy, another life stolen too soon.

We must talk about red flags, control, emotional manipulation, and the realities of domestic violence—not just when a tragedy happens, but all the time.

Silence is what allows abuse to continue. Let’s not stay silent.